Emancipation

It's a serious thing. And a lot of work.

Oxymoron

There's a racing version of the Nissan LEAF. If that's not irony I don't know what is.

Kaboom

What happens when two Washingtonians drive up to an intersection at the same time?








They crash.

Fire drill drill

During a fire alarm, following a fire alarm.
"Certain death lies that way! Go this way" - Lorenzen
Always pick the second choice.

Stings...

Weed Whacker: a device that cuts grass into little pieces.
Then propels them rapidly at your body.

Mayo

I wondered who invented mayonnaise, so I looked it up on Wikipedia.
Not surprisingly it's French, but they stole it from the spaniards. Her name was Katerina.

Walking sticks

It's impossible to take a person with a walking stick seriously unless they're old, lost, or both.
On a side note, hiking is just walking where it's okay to pee.

Cats

Cats are really good at being terrible pets. You feed them and love them and clean up after them. And all they do is poop and hate you.

Airplanes

If the black box of an airplane is indestructible, why isn't the rest of the plane built out of that stuff?

Authors

I thought we had two on this blog. It's okay Marten.
Anti-joke of the day: What do you call a black man that drives a plane?
A pilot.

Cats

Number of spots on my couch: 4
Number of spots when my cat is on the couch: 1
Cats are weird.

Wisdom

I have a swing set with one swing. Is it still a set?

Wisdom

If many hands make light work, and idle hands are the workshop of the devil, what happens if you have many idle hands?